Entry 1. April 29, 2008.

This journal is designated to record and test my  experiences regarding the law of attraction for the current school week.  I will be practicing the methods  mentioned in The Secret, starting with creating a list of what I have that I am thankful for.  From there, I will  focus specifically on what I want, and each day will set some short term goals and attempt to keep them in my thoughts. At the end of the day I will record the results here. I also have a vision board in place, upon which I post pictures of items I desire and try to keep in my thoughts, hoping that I will attract them. I will also attempt to monitor my negative thoughts and reduce them (but record those that I do have, and if they attracted any like circumstances). The overall aim of this project is to see whether or not thoughts become things.

I will begin with a list of things I am thankful for. I'll let it get to 10 things and then stop.

1.) I am thankful for a loving family. It is so great to have grown up in a healthy household, with parents who really love each other and two wonderful and fun siblings!
2.) I am thankful for my current unlimited texts. SWEEEEEET!
3.) I am thankful that  I was put in the group that I was for Spanish (Antigona Furiosa). David and Greg are really cool and make the long-ass play fun! I have got to spend a lot of time with Liz and David thanks to Spanish this semester. It is always fun to hang with them, even if its just studying.
4.) I am grateful for my amazing boyfriend. He really cares for me, even though he enjoys teasing me thoroughly.
5.) I am so happy for music. It makes life exciting and gives it rhythm.
6.) It was really nice having a study party with Vincent today. We haven't studied together in a long time! I hope that happens more often.
7.) I am so happy that all of my senses are in-tact. I can see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.
8.) I am 1000000% thankful for hugs! =)
9.) I am grateful for the ability and the blessing of going to school. This is where I met Vincent and so many colorful people...it's thanks to college that I have had so many wonderful experiences!
10.) I am thankful that my wisdom teeth are finally out and that they are healing quickly. Hooray!!!

PHASE 2: Things I am currently working towards.

Short term: a cup of Dutch Brothers Coffee, preferably White Mocha. Bubble Tea. $10. A job offer (Barnes and Noble?) I will accomplish these things by keeping them in my  daily thoughts.

Long term: A job offer. Improved vision. I will accomplish these things long term, by being thankful for what I have every day and being grateful for my progression towards them. I keep telling myself, if something doesn't go my way, "Well, at least my eye-sight is getting better!"

I was thinking about Dutch Bros this Saturday and my boyfriend offered to treat...but we were in a hurry to catch the bus so we didn't get it. So close! I'll get it next time =)

Tags: cosmology
Current Mood: cheerful

So yes...last time I went up was Wednesday-- the day before, Tuesday, Vincent had two wisdom teeth out (and Lilly had one as well), and when I talked to him on Tuesday he seemed to be in a lot of pain. We originally planned on going to the beach the following day, but I told him firstly, he ought not to be driving on Vikadin, and if the pain was strong enough to warrant Vikadin, it would be better to wait until he felt better. I wouldn't want him to be in pain all day, especially if he was the one driving down to Portland and then Seaside. So we decided we could push the beach trip back to the following Monday. Since he didn't seem to be feeling well, I wanted to come up and make him feel better. I did drive down Wednesday, and since I was now aware of construction, I decided ahead of time that I ought to leave around 8PM to avoid the I-5 traffic which began around 9PM.

We rather bummed around all day...we ran a couple errands, and stopped at Winco to pick up some vanilla icecream and rootbeer so Vincent and Lilly could have floats...and ended up buying some taco food to make lunch. When we returned, we set to work making the bean burritos, heating the taco sauce and ending up using some of the grated cheese for a quesadilla as well. After it was ready, we sat down with some water and drenched our bean burritos in taco sauce and dug in!

Sometime after that Vincent and I went upstairs to watch that 50 cent Vitamin water commercial. It was pretty dang awesome. Not to mention, it gave us some semi-alone time, which we used for gentle kisses...seeing as how his gums were still tender...and for a couple Andrew wanted to show us that David Blaine movie clip spoof on Youtube, so we watched it and it was, as was the other one I'd seen, hilarious! Andrew practiced keyboard for a while

 Since I had brought down my controller, we played some Super Smash Brothers with all four of us.

Tags: 50 cent vitamin water commercial, wisdom teeth

What I learned on the drive home from work today (radio):

When buying a house, make sure to put AT LEAST 20% in a DOWN PAYMENT. You should also plan on living in that house for at least 5 years.

Indexing is a good investment. I ought to research that more, but anyways, you can become rich slowly, over time, by investing in such things with high interest rates.

Today is my actual birthday-- Saturday that is. Today, the offical day, was the day that, although requested off, I was scheduled to work, whereas the two days sandwiching my birthday I got off. 

Yesterday, Friday, was probably the most eventful I've had all summer (not necessarily the best, but I would say the most happenings in one day). First Katie came over around lunch time, just as some no-bake cookies were cooling. With a fresh batch of cookies and some milk, we sat ourselves at the kitchen table and began catching up. Darina joined for a while and piped in her two cents every here and there, although seemingly irrelevant sometimes. We moved to the living room after we finished our snack and spoke about college life and summer plans, then, at the mention of a new Tales game, I set Katie up to play and she did start a new Tales file to see what it was like (and seemed impressed-- but she still needs to finish Symphonia before she could start Abyss). Afterwards, probably around 2:30, we decided we were overdue for a real lunch, so, incorporating both cheddar and pepper jack cheeses, we made our famous chili cheese dip and ate it with fritos. Again looking at the clock, it was past three-- Katie had to leave before 5:30 if she could, so we decided it was high time to start Pan's Labyrinth. I really enjoyed that movie-- I love fantasy things that invoke that feeling of ancient mystery-- there's just something about them that intrigues me to no end. Similar to my interest with ancient civilizations such as the Egyptians, Aztecs, Mayans, Incans, etc. Returning to the point, it was a very good movie-- it was two entertwining story lines, one about a princess of a fairytale trying to find her way back to her kingdom, and the other of Spanish war. It was not an unhappy ending-- but it still felt poetically cold. Yet those are the kinds of movies that make lasting impressions.

Following the time Katie left, I had a little over two hours to pass before Kim and Abby were to pick me up (we were going to see the 8:45 showing of Ratatouille). After a nachos dinner, Darina and I started Mulan in Spanish, but I was unable to finish it before Kim and Abby arrived. In Abby's awesome truck we drove over to Century, but as it turned out, the 8:45 showing was already sold out (Abby's remark: "Who takes their kids out to watch movies this late?" answer: "everyone!") so we ended up buying tickets for the 9:45 showing, then bumming around the mall, mainly the pet store, to pass the time. We still had a bit left when we made our way back to the theatre, so we played a couple rounds of DDR in the starcade and then took our place in the velvet roped line. We had some snacky adventures after we reserved our seats as well-- Abby and I went to get popcorn and an Icee for Kim, and she wanted the cherry one, so we passed at least 3 Icee machines before finding one that was functional, and THEN, it when we did get the cherry one, it was ALL SYRUP and weighed like 5 lbs. The cashier said there was another machine behind the counter that worked fine, so she exchanged our syrupy one for a real one. Then, with Icee, popcorn, a soda for abby, a water for me, and a bit of candy, we started the movie. Cute, clever, and with a happy ending-- that movie passed all my requirements! It was around midnight when it ended-- we had to stay past the credits because during the middle of the film, Abby thought she lost her purse-- Kim found it and handed it to her-- but when it made it to Abby's hands, it turned upside down, and everything spilled out!!! They burst out laughing, and it was at a kind of serious part, so that made it even more hilarious! I think I laughed myself nearly hoarse...

All in all, yesterday was pretty grand. Probably more of a birthday celebration than today will be. All I have going for me today is work...2:30-11PM. Oh joy.

Tomorrow I suppose will be the family celebration.

Tags: 19th birthday, icee, ratatouille

I'm just now thinking about it, but it seems unusual to me to be sick during the summer. I just can't remember ever having been sick particularly during summer break...oh well. There's a first time for everything-- and if its happened before, I forgot it so its as good as new. A couple of days ago I woke up with a dry, sore throat....the roof of my mouth was kind of pale and the uvula looked like it was kind of weak, tender colored, sagging too. I think my throat has been getting gradually better, and, although I was able to survive through work today (Wednesday), it is still a nuisance. I also seemed to have developed a stuffy-ish nose. It feels weird. I took some children's Dimetap so hopefully that will do something for me.

As for the rest of summer, it's currently going alright. There are plenty of things I would like to do...get better at driving so I can get to Salem, learn to cook some more dishes, practice and learn more Spanish, Japanese, and more kanji, as well as perhaps learn to pronounce the characters in Vietnamese. If I get the down time and feel any bit inspired, I would also like to draw this summer. I am at least getting through my video games, which I sorely missed throughout the school year. Twilight Princess is over and I'm making my way through Tales of the Abyss now. Need to catch up with old friends as well, now that everyone who is coming home should be done with school for the summer!

Of course, work takes up plenty of time...yet it is fairly worthwhile. I was pretty pleased with the paycheck I recieved today. The hours and work aren't as tedious but they sure are tiring, and they do take up the more important portion of the day...or rather, when I have work, my attention and focus centers around getting it over with before I let myself have any fun. So I really only have two days a week in which to relax, but I hope that I can accomplish some of my summer goals during those days. I would also like to get in better shape. Man I need that. Sooo...let the days dwindle by and the time off slow for best effect. Vincent should be home in close to a week...

My birthday/9 month anniversary approaches...he'll still be gone, and I'll be working...

Tags: 9 month, birthday, dwindling time, summer goals

Today will be day 3 of work training. The first two days weren't bad, just very long, and as I mentioned in a previous entry, there are some things I just don't think I'll pick up until I put them into practice. Today I only work until 10pm, but the rest of my shifts this week are until 11pm. I really don't mind working, it's just that when you have so many hours and they have to split it up over, say, five or more days of the week, you have little or no down time. Those hours are the prime hours of the day, and personally when I know I have some kind of work or project coming up in the next couple hours or the same day, I can't get anything else done until that work is finished. I would much prefer to work in the morning, because then I could finish and come home and be productive. I think...I would like to request my birthday off. It happens to fall on a Saturday, and from the schedule thus far it seems they like the extra help on weekends.

Anyways, I better go shower and get ready for today's long day. I'm hoping it will be productive and I'll learn well. 

Today I basically sat around...waiting. Tomorrow work starts, so I can't help but feel I should be preparing myself for that, but then there's not really anything I can do until I get there that I haven't already done. So I play the waiting game.

I also waited a long time to hear from Vincent. I miss him so much! I can't believe the emptiness and isolation I feel when he's not around-- and what makes it really hard is not knowing the next time I'll see him again. Maybe work will take my mind off him...it certainly will be taking up the majority of my time...4 days straight in fact, perhaps more if they added more to the schedule. And, it is also training. Training, like the first couple weeks of school, is the worst. You recieve a massive introduction and overview of everything but you don't really learn or accomplish anything until you put it into practice, so essentially it is unproductive, time-consuming stress. AGH! 

We were talking on AIM but Vincent just signed off  :''''''( Lord, I miss him! I can't concentrate on anything else...work will change that, but every night when I get home and have no time left-over for myself I will miss him over and over...

Well well, Julie got a livejournal. And is speaking in third person...interesting. 

The primary reason that I created it at this point in time is for just what the title says-- a journal. I need to vent and get my thoughts down, and I feel slightly more productive if I'm writing something rather than just thinking things, because then I have something to show for it.

So...I have just returned from an excellent memorial day weekend with Vincent. Starting with sunday...

Sunday
I had waited for this day since the moment I saw Vincent drive away with his sister and her friend, headed back home from college for the summer. That was only about a week ago, but the days seemed so long and empty without him. They did go by fast enough, but that was probably only because I had this visit to look foward to-- I was especially excited because I knew he was anxious to see me-- he told me he had already planned things!

On to the order of events. We (my mom and I-- she was dropping me off) arrived at the apartment, and gave Vincent a call to come out so we could figure out which one it was. He did, and my, was he a sight for sore eyes! I thought about running up and hugging him but my mom was still with me, carrying my sleeping bag and intending to make sure the place and situtation were all-clear. She did come in to the 3rd floor apartment and met Stella (the puppy) before seeing me off and leaving us to ourselves.

With no one around, we fell into each other's arms and just sat on the floor embracing one another like we hadn't seen the other in years. It felt so wonderful to have him close again! I was thrilled...3 1/2 days to spend with each other...!

After helping ourselves to some cheese pizzas and big pretzels from the freezer, we began playing Tales of the Abyss. I wanted to demonstrate that yes, I can take direction despite the previous statement I made about disliking backseat playing. It went well. Stella wouldn't stop licking us and sniffing and being playful. We figured she probably had a lot of pent up energy, so we took her for a walk through the sunny neighborhood.

Next? We went driving in search of a grocery store. Vincent 's original intent was to replace the food we ate, but what we ended up doing was buying food for us to cook so we wouldn't have to eat the food that was already there. That night we cooked pasta with prego tomato and basil sauce and italian sausage, and warmed some asagio cheese bread as well. Then we did all of the dishes by hand after letting them set with soap and giving Stella another walk. We finished the night with some strawberry icecream mochi and West Side Story. Vincent became sleepy however, so we retired for the evening before finishing the movie and fell asleep snuggled in each other's arms.

Monday
This was memorial day. Both Vincent and I had a hard time sleeping that night due to Stella's energetic disposition; she licked us endlessly and walked all over us, waking us up several times in the middle of the night. In the end, we gave up trying to sleep at 7:42 AM. I cooked some of the eggs that we bought the previous night and threw in left over italian sausage while he attempted to put together the AC for Dr. S and toasted two more slices of the asagio cheese loaf. He also tried to make coffee, and would have been sucessful had it not been for the lack of sugar. There was none to be found anywhere in the place! As a replacement, we substituted cocoa mix and it tasted fine. After breakfast we played some more Tales together and watched some spongebob while waiting to hear from Chelsea to coordinate the plan. After a lunch of leftovers, we put that plan into action-- Vincent and I drove to the transit center to pick up Chelsea and Yousef and headed over to Lazerport to play some lazertag! Yeah! It was awesome. We played two games and all did fairly well-- in both Vincent was ranked 1st in our group and I ranked 2nd. The two rounds we played were great fun and resulted in the four of us being sweaty, drained, and hungry. This being said, we left Lazerport in search of food and in the direction of taking Chelsea back home.

We arrived downtown via the route taken. Chelsea recommended Cha Cha Cha, a mexican restaurant. The four of us ordered and then ate outside-- it was a lovely day and the shade was cool and refreshing, as was the rice-cinnamon drink, horchata. After we finished our meal we explored the local area, browsed the clothing at buffalo exchange, and headed over to coldstone for some dessert before dropping Chelsea off back home and Yousef to the transit center. We arrived home after dark, took Stella for another walk, both got cleaned up and relaxed. Again we drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, and this time slept much more soundly.

Tuesday
Again we were waken by Stella, walking everywhere and licking us to death, but at least we slept solidly that time. Breakfast was something of a repeat-- I cooked eggs again after he fried the remainder of the sausage and this was complimented by cheese bread, but we substituted strawberry lemonade for coffee this time around. Afterwards we took Stella on her morning walk, and stopped at the local park and swinged a little before heading home. We did the dishes and he was a bit sleepy, so he napped while I played some Tales, then he showered while I watched some spongebob, a particular episode that he recommended. He joined me when he finished and we ate some more icecream mochi. Chilling for a while longer, we sat together and talked closely. By the time we should have been preparing lunch, I was a bit sleepy, but instead of napping we both cooked the remainder of the pasta and sauce and sausage and threw together lunch out of our leftovers. We wanted to give Stella one more walk before we left for Salem, so we did and then we headed off.

Traffic was pretty bad. We left about 3:30pm and headed for Fry's but didn't arrive there until maybe another hour later. We browsed, and I bought a webcam so I can do video chat with Vincent this summer, but I still need to set it up. He bought what he had been dreaming of-- a PS2-- and several games, in addition to Kingdom Hearts and FFX, both of which I loaned him. He should be having tons of fun with that this summer, especially if he doesn't get a job. 

Stuck in traffic once more en route to Salem, we continued our journey. He had aimed to arrive at his house around 5:00pm but due to our stop at Fry's and delays from traffic, we actually arrived around 6pm. We didn't eat any dinner, but we played some basic Wii games and his mom offered us some strawberries for a snack to tie us over. A bit before 7pm, we got back in the car with his little brother and headed over to his old high school to hear his sister perform in the orchestra concert. It was really quite amazing, and I must say, I think all of the groups lived up to the school's reputation for being one of the best. As a bonus, there was an announcement that refreshments and icecream were to be served in the cafeteria afterwards, so we stayed for some icecream, used the bathroom and then Vincent and I started back for home. Remembering our plans to watch Spiderman 1 & 2, we stopped at Blockbuster and rented both, then picked up some food from Arby's on our way back. I fell asleep in the car for maybe 30-40 minutes, and woke up just before we arrived at our destination. We gave Stella another walk as soon as we got home, and I noticed that it would be a good night to look at the stars!

I was extremely tired after that. I sat on the couch while Vincent changed into pajamas and we both decided to finish our dishes from lunch in the morning-- and sat outside to watch the stars. It was after midnight, so we wished each other a happy 8 month anniversary. We were out on the little balconey by ourselves, but Stella kept bouncing on the screen door so we eventually let her out. When we did, we finally saw the face of Ted the cat as he seemed to watch us from behind the screen door. I went back in to try and pet him but he ran off, shy, and, although warm and peaceful outside, Vincent and I decided that we had better watch at least one of the movies tonight so we had time to watch them both. That was exactly what we did...we watched Spiderman, and although I was tired I remained awake for the entire movie. Afterwards, too lazy to move, we pretty much fell asleep where we were on the couch, then moved later when Vincent woke up and said he felt a bit squished.

Wednesday
I was so sad to have to face my last day with him. But we continued as usual. I knew he wanted to get some cleaning done so I made the bed and did all of the dishes while he put together the AC, then we took Stella for her morning walk. For breakfast instead of eggs we had our leftover Arby's and intended to finish the cheesebread while we watched Spiderman 2. We also finished off the last of the icecream mochi. 

How short our time together! While he made a cut so that the AC connector would fit in the mainroom window, I made cookies and that was that! Our time together was up. He dropped me back off at my house around 2:15pm then headed back to his home. For the first few hours I was fine, but as the evening came I really began to miss him and felt that without him, my life lacked motivation to achieve anything! I couldn't concentrate on anything but how much I missed him, and how I wished we could have spent the entire day, our 8 month anniversary, together. It was only past 9pm when my spirits were really weighing low, when I decided I needed to get this out. I wrote this first entry, and he came online for a little while, so that eased my spirit a bit. I still miss him like crazy. But I must continue strongly without him-- I owe myself that much. I'll see him again. I just have to work toward that time and be productive and sucessful and live my life to the fullest before then.